A Fork in the Road

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;"

~ "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost

I'm standing at a crossroads in life.  The holidays are over.  My husband is busy with work and both children have returned to their respective schools, leaving me wondering how I'm going to fill my empty days. 

Last May when I retired from my teaching job, I told myself that I would finish up my unfinished quilting projects over the summer, move in with my mother-in-law in Chicago during the fall so I could enjoy Richard's senior football season, and postpone figuring out what to do in my retirement until after the holidays.  Well, that time is up; the holidays are now over. 

I cannot stand in this forest forever, dithering over which road to take.  Choices need to be made, if I am going to live life productively and purposefully. 

"Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,"

And isn't that the way life unfolds for all of us?  We come to a fork in the road of our lives where both roads look equally fair, but we've got to make the best decision we can about how to proceed, basing our choice on our values and beliefs.  How much easier life would be if we had no free will!  We'd simply continue down the road that God (or fate or whatever philosophy you believe) gives us.  There would be no choice, no dithering, not even a sense of accomplishment.  How unfulfilling such a life would be!

"And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

Instead, God gives us free will to choose the paths we take.  From our current vantage point, we may look back over the convoluted route our decisions have led us right up to where we stand today.  We wonder whether we made the right choices.  We ponder how our lives would have been different had we made another choice, taken a different path.  Perhaps we even wish to go back and choose another way.  But there is no going back; one may only move forward. 

For 36 years, I've focused on developing my career and caring for my family.  Now I want to use the skills I've learned to give back to my community in ways that I was unable to handle while working fulltime and raising children.  I want to obey Christ's command in Matthew 25:35 to feed the poor, clothe the naked, and care for the infirm.  After investigating volunteer opportunities, I've signed up to help regularly at the local food bank and homeless shelter.  I'm also waiting to hear if other organizations could use my services as well. 

Neither road described by Frost in his second and third stanzas were less traveled; both were equally fair and worn about the same. I'm not claiming that I've chosen the less traveled path either.  I'm simply wondering if I will second-guess my decision today at some point in the future.  Once decisions are made, I think I will always wonder about the roads I did not take. And isn't wonder a double-edged word? Wonder means to doubt, puzzle and ponder, but it could also mean to arouse astonishment, surprise and awe, too. 

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."